Reflections

I think about all the ways you saved me
All the million of little ways you rescued me from my life
You were unexpected, but needed so desperately
You were my reason for living

When I first held you, I thought my body would explode
Never could i have imagined such a love could ever exsist
I felt my body burst with light, with love, with completion
You were there...right there upon my chest
my little savior, my everything.

They say I almost died, but it didn't matter
I would risk my life again and again for you
You are worth everything I could ever give and more
My precious precious angel

I've watched you grow and am so proud of the little man you have become
Always running to my arms
Always needing my love
We've been through so much together
I have put you through so much
I am so sorry for that
Sorry you've had to meander down my paths
waiting for me to get things right
You were such a trooper
I am so proud of you

Now you are older
And even though i yell, and you often are mad or hurt by me
You still come running to my arms
Telling me that you will protect me
Cause you are my little man

I will never forget the Christmas
where you saved money to buy me a present all by yourself
It was the greatest present i ever received
A small heart shaped metal ring
"When a boy loves a girl more than anything in this world
he buys her a ring. Here is your ring mommy, cause i love you
more than anything in this world."

You have brought me more joy than I have ever imagined
You have taught me more about love and life than I could have ever learned on my own
And even though I fall so short everyday, you love me
And forgive me for all the mistakes i make

So Tristan...my angel, my everything
Thank you for giving me the most amazing life I could ever have
Thank you for every lesson you ever taught me
For making me so proud everyday
For having the biggest heart
And for never being embarassed to hug and kiss your mommy no matter how many of your friends are watching
i love you