My Friend in Need

I have been doing a lot of reading lately. Trying to educate myself to things that I don't understand. Some days the things I learn alter my reality is such a huge way. Other times, nothing much changes. Today, I read something that set off a memory of an amazing experience I had during a very difficult time in my life. I thought that perhaps tonight was the night to share my experience.

About 10 years ago, while in college, I went through a very difficult time. I lost several people who were very close to me in a very short span of time. I found it hard to deal with all the pain that their deaths left me with. I felt emotionally numb. I ceased caring about anything. I would space out and lose track of time. I would find myself across town not knowing how I got there or what I had done in the hours prior to me "waking up". Inside I was reeling, but on the outside it looked as if there was nothing wrong. Little did I know that what I was experiencing then was only the beginning. Following the experience I am about to share, I experienced the loss of 4 other people. People who had touched me in a very deep way. Had it not been for what had happened to me, I might not have gotten through it. This is why I am so grateful.

I crawled into my bed one night and wrestled with my thoughts. I can't remember exactly what I was thinking of, but I know that I tossed and turned for a long period of time before I drifted off to sleep. When sleep finally came to me, what I experienced was something quite different from any dream I had ever had before. I was outside on a patio walking toward an amazingly beautiful church. It was so bright outside. This bright white light. The building was this bright cream stucco color. I remember looking around and seeing trees that were the most amazing shade of green and hearing birds singing the most beautiful song. Everything was so beautiful.. so peaceful.. It was amazing. There were many people there. We were all walking inside the church. There was a priest standing outside holding the door open for everyone. He was dressed in all black with the white cleric collar showing at the center top of his black collared shirt. As I approached the door he said, "Welcome. Catholics to the left, all other denominations to the right" I looked inside the church. It was so ornate, so regal. The church was decorated in these rich shades of green, burgundy, and gold. I felt like I was in a palace of sorts. I looked to the left and saw that all the seats were filled and that there were crowds of people standing up in the back. I looked to the right and saw a few empty rows of seats.

"I am Catholic, but that section is full so..", I told the priest at the door.

"That's okay, it doesn't matter what side you sit on." he replied

"You know, that's okay. I think I am just gonna sit outside and wait for my friends to get out. Church isn't really my thing anyway."

I noticed a picnic bench at the corner end of the patio by a refreshments table. I made my way over to it and had a seat. The priest closed the doors to the church and made his way over to the table. He poured himself a cup of coffee and put a doughnut on a plate. He then made his way over to the table. He placed the plate in front of me, and sat down.

"I'm with you", he said, "I'd rather have free coffee and doughnuts any day." He then looked me in the eyes and asked, "So what's your story anyway?"

For some reason I was unaware of, I began to tell him my entire life story. Every trial I had ever been through, every disappointed experience.. i put EVERYTHING out there. When I was finally done, I looked up to a very empathic face.

"Wow! That's tough. It couldn't have been easy for you."

"No, it wasn't"

"But you know, it's all going to be okay don't you?"

"Yeah."

"No. You are not listening to me. You are going to be okay."

I looked up into his eyes as he then said, "Do you know who I am?"

Immediately my mind started churning. He asked if I knew who he was, that meant that I should know him. I went through every name and face in my memory and came up with nothing. I had no idea who this man was. But my mouth opened and said....

"Yes, you are God. You can come in any form you want."

"Or any form you give me. And you made me a priest? Now that's just funny." He got up off of the bench and said, "Remember.. Everything is going to be alright." I watched him walk away when the bright light of the sun blinded me and I opened my eyes.

I was still. I was at peace. I had merely just opened my eyes. Immediately I recognized that I didn't "wake up" like I normally do from sleep. It was if I was already awake. All I did was open my eyes. I felt this energy resonate within my body. I felt amazing. I felt complete. I began questioning whether what I had just experienced actually happened. It had. I had talked to God. God came to me and chatted over coffee and doughnuts. He was funny and understanding. He was so cool. He ditched church with me! He said that denominations didn't matter. How amazing was that?

I shared my story with a few others who simply dismissed it as a dream, even though they feigned excitement for me. "Wow.. that's really amazing. Ha.. talked to God...." That kinda thing. But you can tell when someone doesn't believe you. I believed though. I believed.

What I just realized while typing this out was the story of how I allowed Christ back into my life. My mother got a flyer in the mail for a new church starting up and they were advertising free Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Starbucks coffee. My mom said, "let's go. If it sucks, at least we'll get a good breakfast out of it." That's what brought me to church. To rededicating my life to God. Free coffee and doughnuts. The same breakfast I shared with God. :)